About me
My Origin Story
I remember doing ALIS tests at school and being given the result of Psychologist as my ideal profession. I didn't follow that advice for many years, becoming known in the digital marketing space as a highly sought after solutions consultation. However, after a string of difficult relationships and receiving a diagnosis of autism, I was drawn to spend more time with the interpersonal rules that people date by, love by, and live by.
So I quit the world of tech and began researching and developing successful working relationship models, inspired by psychologists, therapists, and folks I met and observed in the flourishing, colourful adult party scene in London. Seeing many supportable configurations and dysfunctional dynamics enabled me to cross-section relationships in every orientation to get to the core of what makes fruitful, nurturing connections, be they social circles, love lives, or life-loves.
Socially and through mentoring, I'm blessed to meet many people at various stages of self-discovery, as they navigate their way in life, listening to their heads and their hearts. I became skilled at helping them to stay true to themselves, attract people that inspire them, and trigger life events that fulfil them, so that they might grow happy in sync with all those they touch, figuratively and literally.
So now I’m a respected writer on mental health, a Level 2 and 3 qualified counsellor, training as a Psychotherapist with Lambeth College. I'm also a semi-pro musician and avid video gamer.
My Philosophy
My relationship etiquette framework stems from years of connecting, dating, and loving whilst honouring core values. I hold the time people spend together to be the active site of relationship building. And so, how we communicate with each other when apart is an exercise in sustaining that fire. I essentially teach 'relationship hygiene', first simplifying, then building back up clients' approaches to vetting partners, exploring whilst in love, and loving more than one person.
In other words, there are multiple pillars that influence why we engage in certain relationships, and I assist individuals in factorising, analysing, and reconstructing these elements into a comprehensive roadmap for the future.
Through my research and work with clients, I document and develop moralities about relationship touchpoints like Lust, Love, Value sharing, Physical Attraction, Emotional Attraction, Logistical Attraction, Boundaries/ Expectations, Power struggles, Marriage, Pregnancy, and Child-rearing. Each of these components comes into sharp focus in sessions designed to teach my method for effective relationship clarity.
My Publications
I write extensively. Articles on my site outline all my reading, methods, and models, whether re-skinnings of established relationship theory or brand new modalities for analysing the self, and for stronger, happier connections. I duplicate these articles to my Medium publication and to LinkedIn.
My articles are being collated into the seminal work known as What I Learned From Being Discarded. The book introduces new modalities of understanding the self and relational dynamics, containing never-before-seen articles, and nods to psychologists, peers, and friends who have helped me land on new ways of thinking, loving, and being.
To introduce myself and explain the life-changing events that brought me formally into the world of mental health and relationship etiquette, I wrote a memoir capturing all the key events that happened in the months leading up to my re-invention. I called these diary entries In the Wake of Her. They are a nod to the relationships that blinded me, broke me, then built me. Read more.
“There are so many things that Ryan helped me with, but let's just say that I learned a better way of loving and being loved.”
~ Christie
Book time with me as a single, couple, or throuple. In-person or Videocall.
Ad hoc sessions are £35. Or consider a bundle of 6 sessions for £30 each.
Postponable on request. 2nd sessions are free.