Self-Assessment Tools
Measure anxiety and Depression
Robert Spitzer's widely used tool for quantifying anxiety is known as the General Anxiety Disorder 7 questions. Kurt Kroenke's widely used tool for quantifying mood is known as the Patient Health Questionnaire 9 questions. Use them for free here.
Measure Attachment Style
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth's work is the baseline for understanding pursuance & avoidance in relationships. Do you require constant reassurance? Or do you require periodic breathing room? The test is cleverly layered over a Locus of Control measurement, which asks, Who pulls the strings here? Is it anyone? Are we all just on a rollercoaster? Are you waiting for life to come to you?
Physical Emotional Logistical - Self Assessment of Compatibility
My PEL-SAC exercise invites us to look at our position on 30 trait spectra. Then it looks at where our range of compatibility with a partner overlaps on the same spectra. How will you score in terms of flexibility? How will your prospective partner score in terms of your wants versus their offering?
Measure Social Shell Permeability
Ever notice that some people share more than you? Ever notice that people are worried if you divulge too much about your situation? Try the assessment to see if you have badly tuned social shell permeability.
Check Relationship Agreement
When we enter a close relationship, we give up freedoms. When people in relationships say "We are open to X" we should distinguish between "I still want to do X", "I have permission to do X", and "I still currently do X". This model helps clients break down the different liberties and assess them based on these 3 statements. What aren't you aligned on?
Check Love Language
American pastor and marriage counsellor, Gary Chapman, wrote in The Five Love Languages (1992) that people tend to give and receive love through 5 categories. Which one are you operating at the moment? Do you recognise your partner’s?
Hazan-Shaver Abridged Questionnaire
See this shortened version of a test for attachment style