Being a Counsellor and Relationship Theorist in London
Ester Perel, Alain de Botton, Matthew Hussey, Adam Lane-Smith.
Ester Perel, Alain de Botton, Matthew Hussey, Adam Lane-Smith. I don’t think there are greater voices for clarity, compassion, and sustainable relationship building. Their work resonates not only because of what they say but because of how they say it — measured, thoughtful, and rooted in a deep respect for the complexities of human connection.
Ester Perel has a gift for uncovering the unspoken dynamics that shape intimacy and desire, offering language to experiences many struggle to articulate.
Alain de Botton, through his essays and talks, frames love and attachment in a way that feels both philosophical and deeply practical, reminding readers that imperfection is not a flaw but a feature of loving relationships.
Matthew Hussey’s advice is direct yet compassionate, guiding people with actionable steps while never losing sight of the emotional realities behind dating and commitment.
Adam Lane-Smith adds a psychologically grounded perspective, often addressing the underlying attachment and trust issues that influence how we connect with others.
Together, they demonstrate that clarity and compassion are not mutually exclusive. Their writing is a quiet act of care — structured to be accessible, unpretentious, and genuinely supportive. They do not simply give advice; they build trust, inviting their audiences into conversations that are sustainable, honest, and, above all, humane.
I’m Ryan Minti…
…a counsellor and psychotherapist in training based in London. When I’m not helping people just like you to achieve a sense of content and calm in their lives, I’m developing and modernising relationship theories for the contemporary age. These four horsemen of the romance-pocalypse were a huge part of why I do what I do, but an even bigger part of how I do what I do.
If you having difficulty reaching inner peace, then…
…Let me tell you that I help clients every day in tackling the pressures of family, friends, career, money, dating, partnerships, health, and more. When you imagine the idyllic garden of your mind, what’s blocking you from reaching it?
Who I help
As a counsellor, I work with singles, couples and throuples to keep them happier for longer. My guidance is fit for all genders and persuasions. I’m available for face to face meetings in London, but have clients from all over the UK and the world who are content to link up on a convenient videocall.
My work follows and develops frameworks explaining attraction, formation, maintenance, and dissolution. I step through these theories to explore my clients’ attraction, communication, satisfaction, and breakdown, focusing on needs, fairness, and learned behaviours.
What to Expect
After just a few sessions, you will learn and wield powerful tools to reappraise and find breakthroughs in your dating. They apply to every person and every relationship, but I can find the best fit for your dynamic and obstacles.
There’s a way forward for everyone: soft swing, hard swing, parallel dating, non-monogamy, non-hierarchy, anarchy, polycules, polymers and beyond, all find clarity under my guidance.
Non-Monogamy seems full of contradictions.
Closeness is key when together, but allowing freedom is paramount. Sex can define the dynamic, but it’s very secondary to the romantic connection which drives everything.
When I deconverted from equating love with monogamy, I wish I had a mentor to assist me in the new relationship playbook. Mistakes were made, selves were abandoned, and conversations about discomfort were long overdue. I’m now in the position to be that resource for other people.
